You don't need more confidence

We often think that what we need to be able to take that scary step is more confidence. If I would feel more confident than I would be able to succeed. Once we no longer feel fear or uncertainty then we can take this step.

So we wait until we feel more confident, we wait until we trust or are sure that we have the abilities and qualities that are needed. But rest assured, the moment you feel you have the abilities you know are lacking now , the voice of self doubt will come up with something new you should be unsure or worried about. So you still won’t feel confident.

Tara Mohr calls this the “confidence myth”. That if we had more confidence we would have more career success, if we had more confidence we would be able to pursue our longings to make more of a contribution with our work.

What if you don’t need more confidence? What if you don’t have to wait until fear and self-doubt will go away. (Because they won’t!) What is helpful instead to be able to take the plunge? It is about learning to recognize that our fear and doubt will always be speaking up. Especially when we want to take a step towards something that is really close to our hearts!

It is about hearing the voice of fear and self-doubt but not taking direction from it. To let the fear accompany you, but not let it lead the way. So we don’t have to get rid of fear and self doubt. We just need to learn to change our relationship to them. To learn to take a step, while we feel fear and doubt. It starts with recognizing when the voice of fear and self doubt speaks up. To say to yourself : that is my the voice of fear or self doubt talking. When we can observe this voice, we create space between this voice and ourselves and we can then consciously choose how to respond to this voice.

It is also about learning to trust that if we fail, we can pick ourselves up and can learn to do better next time.